October 28, 2007

The Future is Now

October 28, 2007/ The Webmaster

The 89th battle for the Little Brown Jug went to the Wolverines on Saturday, 34-10. Once again, fans were treated to a tale of two halves. A first half of fear and loathing, and a second half of proper adjustments, inspired defense, and taking advantage of the opponent's weaknesses. If I had a nickel for every time my section 30 cohort Kevin mentioned that there was a midget in single coverage on Manningham, I'd have enough to replace the EZ-Up tent that fell victim to the whipping wind during the tailgate. Note to self..always use stakes. Live and learn, folks, live and learn. Seems that is the theme for this edition of the Wolverines. The solomidgetcoverage on Manningham in the first half usually precluded a hand-off to Minor or Brown. In the second half, it resulted in laser guided Mallet-bombs for large gains...and still some hand-offs to Minor and Brown, ya know, to keep 'em honest.

Hart, no Henne. Henne, no Hart. No Henne or Hart. This is the reality of what has so far been an rags to riches comeback. We've done it...and we've done it with part or all of next year's team. And while I've really appreciated the experience and chemistry we've gained for the future, I think I'd like to have 2007's team play out the rest of this season. No, really, the resting of Henne and Hart was a nice gesture, but I think I'd like to see them dressed from here on out. Lloyd seemed to hint that they will both be back for the Backyard Brawl on replay...so, nice.

Three games. Two tough road tests, and one for all the marbles.

Death, taxes, and cold and rainy days for soups and stews...all certainties it seems. A surprisingly open Ann Arbor Golf and Outing was host to an amazing array of warm concoctions from a bevy of tailgaters. Bacon and dumpling, vegetable, stuffed pepper, broccoli cheese...and so many others. On site grilled cheese sandwiches made their first tailgate appearance for dipping and munching. Considering the weather, it was an amazing turnout.

For those that may not have heard, UMTailgate.com was featured on the front page of The Ann Arbor News on Friday. The article followed the "battle" between UMTailgate and Garsworld, and thanks go out to Jo Mathis for doing it. Thanks also to Gar for inferring that UMTailgate.com is X-Rated and full of strippers, while his tailgate is family oriented. The online version of the article has a youtube video featuring yours truly bashing Gar and his little world. Wow, the Orlando Sentinel and the Ann Arbor News in one season. Worldwide baby, worldwide.

Congratulations go out to Goody, son of the Captain, and nephew of the Godfather, on his engagement. No jokes just yet. Whew...this is the toughest thing I've ever done. Not sure how long I can hold out.

March 08, 2007

Dust Off Your Brackets

March 08, 2007/ The Webmaster

I've received a few inquiries, and I just wanted to assure everyone that there WILL be a 2007 UMTailgate.com Tournament Challenge. If you participated last year, you will get an invitation via email. If you need an invite, send an email to tourney2k7@umtailgate.com to let me know who you are, and I will add you to the list. Same rules...same donation...same trash talking fun.

Meanwhile back in the Big Ten Tournament...

It's halftime at the United Center and Michigan leads 20-16. Ya, the Maize and Blue drew the coveted "weekday at noon" spot for both Thursday and Friday (if they win this abomination). You can listen live from the office for free by following the link at mgoblue.com, but I wouldn't recommend it. See if you can find some Big East action on another station...they play real basketball.

And if you are feeling left out with all the bubble talk and bracketology that leaves your sorry-excuse-for-a-senior-laden team on the outside looking in, perhaps you should start concentrating on the more likely tournament over at NIT-ology.

Update...

A "must click" link from Deadspin's website to Johnny Cleveland's eyes to my ears...it's the Michigan Wolverines as Stacey Carosi in this Big Ten Tourney preview featuring your favorite characters from Saved By the Bell.

October 02, 2006

These Night Games Could End Up Killing Someone

October 02, 2006/ The Webmaster

It's a long drive from Ann Arbor to Minneapolis. It's a long night when a bar offers 2-for-1 on all drinks from 9pm to midnight. It's a long tailgate when the game starts at 7pm. It's a long but satisfying walk from the Michigan sideline to the Minnesota sideline to open that mystery box and pull out the Little Brown Jug.

It's a tough job to motivate a group of young men to get up for games every week. Somehow, Coach Carr has convinced his teams year after year that the Little Brown Jug is important, despite the fact that this rivalry has been grossly one-sided for the better part of the past century. He spins the yarn of the legend of Yost and the water jug on Michigan Replay, at the press conference, and to the team. For some reason, they seem to buy into it. Every time we win this game, even when we've won it sixteen straight times, we pull that jug out in celebration, jumping up and down like we clinched the wild card or something (*cough*).

Saturday wasn't much different. Michael Hart and his band of zone blockers were a ball-control machine, while Henne's air attack continued to amaze everyone with its laser accuracy. It seems that anytime he feels like it, Chad can look-off the safety and fire it to Manningham (or Arrington) for a touchdown. And though it wasn't all roses in one of our last trips to the Metrodome (new Gopher stadium in '09...yes!!!) it was never really in doubt. Michigan came out fast in this one, getting a 14-0 lead by way of two Henne-to-Arrington touchdowns, and would lead 21-7 at the half, which seemed like the fastest half of football ever. It was a scoreless second half until Henne-to-Hart was followed by a Hart 1-yard dive to make it 28-7. A Gopher touchdown with just under 5 minutes to play was followed by an on-side kick that was recovered by Minnesota. Embarrassingly, the only people there to see it were the remaining Michigan fans. I haven't seen a place clear out like that since Penn State '97. The Gophers took it all the way to the Michigan 8, but Cupito's last ditch effort fell incomplete. In the ultimate reverse flashback moment to last year, Michigan was just trying to run out the clock when Mike Hart busted a 53-yard run a la the ineligible Gary Russell in 2005. I thought we should kick the field goal just to be funny (and because Garret seems to be having problems) but instead we let Brandon Minor and Carlos Brown work out their legs as time expired. Michigan wins 28-14.

Our arrival on Friday allowed for a full campus bar tour. We hit Stub and Herbs, Big Ten, and Sally's...and we were flabbergasted at the lack of people out on the eve of the big game. Every excuse in the book was given to us by the locals, from "tomorrow's a big day" to "there's probably more people in Dinkytown." But we had a good time with the few locals we did meet, and enjoyed the drink specials. It cost about $50 to incapacitate the three of us, with new tailgater Baby Gorilla feeling the effects well into Saturday.

On Saturday, we started with a trip to the famous "Al's Breakfast" where I consumed the best damn corned-beef hash ever made. The tailgate occurred in one of the seedier parts of Minneapolis about half a mile from the Metrodome, under a highway billboard, with very few people around. But we stood tall for 7 hours with Jambalaya, BBQ beef poor boys, and locally made subs.

A successful but arduous trip across the country...leaving just one more game of revenge. But we must not look ahead, because Sparty is coming to town this Saturday, and even though they are an embarassment to themselves, their fans, and their mothers, they can fix everything in one shot. Get ready folks...the longest home tailgate in Michigan history is on the horizon. The theme is Urban, so pull out the soul food recipes and get your livers ready.

September 29, 2006

Predicting the Destination of the Jug

September 29, 2006/ The Webmaster

The Hammer:

I'm willing to concede that Minnesota's offense will be a stiffer test than Wisconsin's. They have more balance and a somewhat less predictable attack. With that being said, their defense should be no match. I'll give the Gophers 17 points but we're dropping 31. This will be another game that frustrates me at times because of play calling but I'm hoping we get things strait before Michigan State. Bring back the jug.I'm thirsty damn it!

Michigan 31

Minnesota 17

Offensive MVP: A. Arrington

Defensive MVP: L. Hall

Johnny Cleveland:

Nomally an 8pm'er in the HHH would signify trouble, especially with the Spartans on deck. However, when you have a half dozen NFL players on the defensive side of the ball, you tend to rest a little easier. Could be close for quite a stretch with their ground game and experienced QB, but turnovers break it open eventually. Don't be surprised if the Gophers air it out early...but in the end we dance in Dinkytown!

Michigan 38

Minnesota 21

OMVP: Chad Henne

DMVP: Terrance Taylor

The XBox:

Michigan: 42

Minnesota: 27

The Webmaster:

No looking ahead when it's Revenge Week Part 3. They celebrated on our field. They planted a flag Sparty style. They took our jug. We are coming to fix all of it.

Michigan 34

Minnesota 13

OMVP: Mike Hart again

DMVP: Alan Branch again

September 28, 2006

The Minnesota Preview: Give Me Back My Jug!!!

September 28, 2006/ The Webmaster

We've crossed over mid-week and I'm feeling pretty confident. I just can't see coming back here without the jug. There's an empty spot in Schembechler Hall without it. I mean, it really is our jug. You know how the story goes. Lloyd tells it every year like a drunk uncle spouting "'Twas the night before Christmas" at your holiday gathering. Yost thought that the Gopher's were going to poison us, so we brought our own water in our own jug. We head back to Ann Arbor post game, probably by horse drawn carriage, and forget the jug. Yost sends a text message morse code telegram to Minnesota, asking for the jug back. Minnesota says "come back and win it from us."

It's at this point in the story I get pissed. Screw you Minnesota. We made an honest mistake when packing up the burros to head back to Ann Arbor. Why not be civil and give us our water jug back? ...Especially considering that we had to bring it because you guys are shady bastards known for poisoning opponent's water.

So besides stealing the jug from us last year in a metaphoric sense by way of a last ditch run by the now defunct Gary Russell, you actually stole our jug and took it back with you to Minneapolis. Dude...our jug. I'll get a lawyer if I have to. We're taking it back this year, win or lose, and we're putting it in our trophy case...and then we're just not going to bring it to the game anymore. That's it.

Oh ya, I almost forgot, you also planted a flag into our field turf. We're sending you a bill for that too. It's not grass assholes...it's expensive.

The School:

Established 1851

Enrollment 51,194, second largest in the United States

Colors: Maroon and Gold

Mascot: Goldy Gopher

The Records:

Michigan is 67-24-3 all time against Minnesota, 30-12-2 in Minneapolis.

Minnesota is 2-2 on the season, with losses to California and Purdue, and wins against Kent State and Temple

Minnesota head coach Glen Mason has lead his team to 32 victories over the last four seasons (2002-2005), which is the best four year win total since 1902-1905.