This is Homecoming....This is Home

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​Let me start by saying that Michigan showed up on Saturday. As previously posted, minus our limited skirmish with one member of the Axis of Evil, we have failed to look like anything remotely resembling a quality football team in our games, and particularly in the first half of those games. No matter how inferior the opponent, we have played down to their level. Not so against Purdue. It was the performance we were waiting for from Chad and Mario. Having that tandem clicking along with Mike Hart is exactly what we need to have through November.

If there was ever a statline that conveyed the idea of "nuff said," it's this one: Michigan did not have a single three-and-out offensive drive. So there it is...'nuff said. Michigan 48, Purdue 21. And considering I have an Elliot-E.T. type relationship with Mike Hart, I can tell you that we're a little sore, it's a light sprain, and we plan to carry the load and keep Juice off the field next Saturday.

It is with a warm heart that I move the focus of this post from the events on the field of play to our tailgate home on the golf course. Saturday marked my 100th consecutive Michigan Football game. It's something that some may call an "accomplishment." Others may find completely crazy. It is a feat that is not completely foreign to UMTailgate.com, as our own Bubba and Stephen hit the mark together two years ago, and have continued the streak (along with having six kids between them) up through today. Regardless, it is something I am happy to have done and am certainly proud of. Moreover, the UMTailgate.com flag, created in 2001 to honor the best of our tailgaters, now flies proudly over our tailgate with my name on it, the 8th name to be added in our 8 seasons of existence as UMTailgate.com. And as funny or pointless many may find this privately run UMTailgate.com "Hall of Fame," it is an honor for me to be included with this amazing group of people.

 I relived the ceremony through the pictures just moments ago (nice photog work Tuba), and wish to extend my sincere thanks to Stephen, Captain Michigan, and the Godfather for their kind words and great gifts...and a shoutout to their wives too. Thanks to my family...The Old Man, who deep down hates all of this but shows up anyway, and to Sister Kristen and Bubba for getting me into this whole Michigan tailgate mess. To our other regulars, from the Dogan's and Sheppard's to the Hatzl's and Bush's...as always it was a great turnout and great participation. I personally had a few newcomers there that were very impressed with our spread of food and our organization. Little do they know that we operate perfectly with only a theme to guide us! I would also like to thank each and every person that made their way out to the tailgate. The attendance was amazing.

And now that I've talked all about me, I just want to reiterate that this amazing tailgate is not all about me. Being only able to quote Michigan men...I remind all of you that it is, always has been, and always will be about "the team, the team, the team." Saying that I could not do this without all of you would be incorrect. Because I don't do it. We do it. And I hope we continue to do it until Aiden gets his name on the flag too.

Thanks.

These Night Games Could End Up Killing Someone

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​It's a long drive from Ann Arbor to Minneapolis. It's a long night when a bar offers 2-for-1 on all drinks from 9pm to midnight. It's a long tailgate when the game starts at 7pm. It's a long but satisfying walk from the Michigan sideline to the Minnesota sideline to open that mystery box and pull out the Little Brown Jug.

It's a tough job to motivate a group of young men to get up for games every week. Somehow, Coach Carr has convinced his teams year after year that the Little Brown Jug is important, despite the fact that this rivalry has been grossly one-sided for the better part of the past century. He spins the yarn of the legend of Yost and the water jug on Michigan Replay, at the press conference, and to the team. For some reason, they seem to buy into it. Every time we win this game, even when we've won it sixteen straight times, we pull that jug out in celebration, jumping up and down like we clinched the wild card or something (*cough*).

Saturday wasn't much different. Michael Hart and his band of zone blockers were a ball-control machine, while Henne's air attack continued to amaze everyone with its laser accuracy. It seems that anytime he feels like it, Chad can look-off the safety and fire it to Manningham (or Arrington) for a touchdown. And though it wasn't all roses in one of our last trips to the Metrodome (new Gopher stadium in '09...yes!!!) it was never really in doubt. Michigan came out fast in this one, getting a 14-0 lead by way of two Henne-to-Arrington touchdowns, and would lead 21-7 at the half, which seemed like the fastest half of football ever. It was a scoreless second half until Henne-to-Hart was followed by a Hart 1-yard dive to make it 28-7. A Gopher touchdown with just under 5 minutes to play was followed by an on-side kick that was recovered by Minnesota. Embarrassingly, the only people there to see it were the remaining Michigan fans. I haven't seen a place clear out like that since Penn State '97. The Gophers took it all the way to the Michigan 8, but Cupito's last ditch effort fell incomplete. In the ultimate reverse flashback moment to last year, Michigan was just trying to run out the clock when Mike Hart busted a 53-yard run a la the ineligible Gary Russell in 2005. I thought we should kick the field goal just to be funny (and because Garret seems to be having problems) but instead we let Brandon Minor and Carlos Brown work out their legs as time expired. Michigan wins 28-14.

Our arrival on Friday allowed for a full campus bar tour. We hit Stub and Herbs, Big Ten, and Sally's...and we were flabbergasted at the lack of people out on the eve of the big game. Every excuse in the book was given to us by the locals, from "tomorrow's a big day" to "there's probably more people in Dinkytown." But we had a good time with the few locals we did meet, and enjoyed the drink specials. It cost about $50 to incapacitate the three of us, with new tailgater Baby Gorilla feeling the effects well into Saturday.

On Saturday, we started with a trip to the famous "Al's Breakfast" where I consumed the best damn corned-beef hash ever made. The tailgate occurred in one of the seedier parts of Minneapolis about half a mile from the Metrodome, under a highway billboard, with very few people around. But we stood tall for 7 hours with Jambalaya, BBQ beef poor boys, and locally made subs.

A successful but arduous trip across the country...leaving just one more game of revenge. But we must not look ahead, because Sparty is coming to town this Saturday, and even though they are an embarassment to themselves, their fans, and their mothers, they can fix everything in one shot. Get ready folks...the longest home tailgate in Michigan history is on the horizon. The theme is Urban, so pull out the soul food recipes and get your livers ready.

The Minnesota Preview: Give Me Back My Jug!!!

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​We've crossed over mid-week and I'm feeling pretty confident. I just can't see coming back here without the jug. There's an empty spot in Schembechler Hall without it. I mean, it really is our jug. You know how the story goes. Lloyd tells it every year like a drunk uncle spouting "'Twas the night before Christmas" at your holiday gathering. Yost thought that the Gopher's were going to poison us, so we brought our own water in our own jug. We head back to Ann Arbor post game, probably by horse drawn carriage, and forget the jug. Yost sends a text message morse code telegram to Minnesota, asking for the jug back. Minnesota says "come back and win it from us."

It's at this point in the story I get pissed. Screw you Minnesota. We made an honest mistake when packing up the burros to head back to Ann Arbor. Why not be civil and give us our water jug back? ...Especially considering that we had to bring it because you guys are shady bastards known for poisoning opponent's water.

So besides stealing the jug from us last year in a metaphoric sense by way of a last ditch run by the now defunct Gary Russell, you actually stole our jug and took it back with you to Minneapolis. Dude...our jug. I'll get a lawyer if I have to. We're taking it back this year, win or lose, and we're putting it in our trophy case...and then we're just not going to bring it to the game anymore. That's it.

Oh ya, I almost forgot, you also planted a flag into our field turf. We're sending you a bill for that too. It's not grass assholes...it's expensive.

The School:


  • Established 1851

  • Enrollment 51,194, second largest in the United States

  • Colors: Maroon and Gold

  • Mascot: Goldy Gopher


The Records:

  • Michigan is 67-24-3 all time against Minnesota, 30-12-2 in Minneapolis.

  • Minnesota is 2-2 on the season, with losses to California and Purdue, and wins against Kent State and Temple

  • Minnesota head coach Glen Mason has lead his team to 32 victories over the last four seasons (2002-2005), which is the best four year win total since 1902-1905.

  • Lloyd Carr is 8-1 in his career against the Gophers, and 4-0 at the Dome. Michigan is undefeated (10-0) at the Dome all time.

  • Michigan is 24-2 in their last 26 games against the Gophers.


Watch List:

  • The two-headed monster of Maroney and Barber Amir Pinnix and Alex Daniels lead a rushing offense that is 2nd in the Big Ten and 8th in the nation.

  • Quarterback Brian Cupito, who holds just about every all-time passing record at Minnesota.

  • Junior LB Mike Sherels leads the team in tackles.

  • Sophomore DE Steve Davis leads the team in sacks and will try to have his way with Reuben Riley.


Fun Facts:

  • I once made the cover of the website cameltoe.org (link not suitable for work, obviously) for a picture I appeared in with Goldy the Gopher (above).

The Corner of Bourbon and Stadium

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And Now, The Big Ten

So Act II of the 2004 season begins, and in "just fine" fashion. A still-stagnant offense was made to look better by a turnover-forcing defense, and with spectacular play by Braylon Edwards, the Wolverines were able to post 30-points, with 16 coming in the second quarter. Chad Henne completed 16 of 26 passes for 236 yards and a touchdown...and more importantly, no interceptions.

The defense struggled to stop the circus-like passing attack of the Hawkeyes, but managed to come through when it counted with a big stop or a big turnover. Iowa's rushing attack was non-existent, netting negative yards.

But it was Stanford-transfer Grant Mason's 4th quarter 25-yard interception return for a touchdown that sealed the Wolverine's first victory against the Hawkeyes since 2001. This also marks the 23rd consecutive win for the Wolverines in Big Ten openers, as well as 36 of their last 37.

New Orleans Comes to Ann Arbor

The Tailgate was filled with Jambalaya, Gumbo (somewhat scorched), shrimp, and other spicy cajan treats. But there was room for the old standards, like cheesy potatoes and Captain Morgan, to keep our heads in (or out of) the game. Everyone came in costume, with beads, boas, hats, and even fake red facial hair, to make the day festive. Thanks to all who participated, the next theme will be posted on the message board soon.

On the Road Again

Michigan travels to Bloomington next Saturday to take on the Indiana Hoosiers. Michigan will be looking for their first road victory of the season against an inferior team. Sound familiar?

UMTailgate.com will take a 5-man crew down to the game...theme to be determined.